My Dad’s Suicide: 10 Years Later

I’m reposting an edited version of this because I noticed I missed World Suicide Prevention Day yesterday. I was dealing with my own depression and finding someone to talk to. I’ve dealt with depression and anxiety a lot over the years and there have been times that I’ve had suicidal thoughts and ideations. It gets overwhelming. It’s physically, emotionally, and mentally draining and is very hard to convince yourself to reach out when you’re at that point.

If you are feeling depressed and want someone to talk to, reach out to someone close to you and be honest, be open. If you don’t have anyone to reach out to, then call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. If talking isn’t your thing, they have an online chat. If that doesn’t work you can reach me on twitter @coffeesippers. DM me and I will send you my # and we can talk, I can listen, whatever you need. Remember, once you’re gone, there’s no coming back.

My dad committed suicide 10 yrs ago this past July and the sadness never really goes away. Yeah, I’ve “dealt with it”, and those emotions are settled, mostly, not really, who knows? Ten years on and at times it sure as shit still feels like it just happened yesterday. This isn’t really about typical suicide prevention, because I don’t know how to stop it. I’m not a professional therapist and I feel like telling someone to “talk about it” is akin to telling an alcoholic to “just stop drinking…” It’s just not that easy. Not when you’re at that place in your head.

This is how I felt after I found out that my dad committed suicide.

Disclaimer, there’s no PF spin or $ talk today, so feel free to delete and move on if you’re not interested, my feelings won’t be hurt a bit.

AC Replacement: Shopping Around Saves Money

This past week I have had 3 different Heating and Air Conditioning companies at the house explaining to me what is wrong with our AC system and what it would take to correct it or replace it. That’s right, only 6 weeks in and the whole AC/Furnace unit needs major servicing and/or replacement. Thank goodness for the home warranty! Oh wait, it isn’t broken. It was just installed improperly and is undersized for our house. This explains why it can’t keep the house cooler than 83 F when the temperature gets above 94 F outside and why the unit keeps running and running and running. However, since our system isn’t broken (it’s just undersized) according to the home warranty, we’re good!

What a pisser…

Escaping Limbo: Why My Remote Work Sucks

When I made the decision to leave my job, I felt like I wouldn’t be a good PF blogger if I didn’t monetize my departure somehow. Just plain old quitting is for suckers! Financial Samurai espouses, “Negotiate your severance” and for $85 I’ll tell you how! I had multiple people tell me similar things, “you should ask for a remote work assignment, so and so just got one!” “You should ask for severance, you never know if you don’t ask…” Company policy is that I have too few years to be entitled to anything. No severance, no partial bonus next cycle for this year, no LTI payouts (long term incentive – the stocks), nothing. I’d already looked it up. If I went to negotiate a severance, what leverage did I have?

To be honest, I didn’t give a shit. I was already leaving over $150k of stock incentives on the table, we already have “enough” money, and personally, I didn’t want to be immediately tied to a computer when I left. However, to be a “good” PF blogger, I split Sam’s book with a colleague that was also wanting a change and we wanted to see if it could help. I started reading it and I couldn’t get past Chapter 4. I just didn’t give a shit. My family was moving, I wasn’t going to “not move” just to stick around trying to monetize my departure by making my company decide between firing me or continuing to pay an unproductive employee… That seemed shadier than just ghosting work, plus, that’s just not my style. I kept asking myself, what’s the point of acting poorly towards them just to get more money, when we already have enough money?

And then it happened… My boss came to me asking about working remotely for a month to “ease the transition.” I said, “Sure. Maybe for a month, but 2 at max.” When it was all said and done, I signed a contract for 3 months of remote work. A month in, it feels like the longest, most drawn out, tediously earned severance package ever. Here’s why I wish I hadn’t agreed to this dumb shit assignment…

Moving to The Country

While a lot of things have changed for the SSC family in the last few months, there are some things that haven’t. We are starting to get our new schedule established, and responsibilities are getting divvied up accordingly. A new plan of attack is being worked up for this Lifestyle so we can make sure we don’t screw things up budget wise. For those that haven’t followed along much on Twitter, here’s a final update before I get down to brass tacks next week discussing all new meaty PF stuff like these topics. “What the F is the budget going to look like? Where is my sense of purpose going to come from when I quit my remote work assignment at the end of October? What is our new plan? We were successful building, working towards and implementing our Lifestyle Change, but now what?! Life moves on and we can’t just sit around watching it go by, so what are we going to start planning for next?” Stay tuned for all these discussions and more! Until then, here’s a final update on where we are.

Real Estate Negotiations Suck…

It’s been a long time since the last post huh?! Don’t worry I’ll be back to regular posting next week catching you up on all the good things that have been going on around our household, but in the meantime enjoy this update about our current real estate transaction. We’re in the midst of negotiations with our Houston house and what a cluster… I’ve gotten worked up over this for all of about 18 hours yesterday before I “let it go”.

You’re welcome if this song gets stuck in your head.

Here’s a quick backstory.

The house didn’t get 1 showing the first 3 months. Lot of competition with new construction, and decent, but not amazing photos didn’t help. Then we got a few showings but it was still slow. When we moved our stuff out 3 weeks ago, we took new pictures and they came out great. We got about 10-12 showings after that and ended up with an offer. We began negotiating a price, then they read the disclosure and saw we treated the house for termites after they got into our front room (formal dining room). This is where the fun began!

 

FFLC Transition and Moving Update

Man, this past month has flown by! There has been little fallout at work with them knowing I’m leaving, now if only the home life was as stress-free. There has been so much going on around our house that it has been a madhouse. We have had to keep our current house ready for showings, hosted an open house, closed on our new house, set up moving companies, and more. It has been a whirlwind of activity around here. On the one hand, we feel like we have got things well under control, yet on the other, it feels like we’ve just been hemorrhaging cash. We’ve been doing a good job of keeping things tight, but man, so much little stuff comes up here and there with moving.  Here’s a more detailed rundown of how things have been doing with the transition so far.

You’re Promoted! Thanks, But I’m Quitting…

Man was Friday an exciting, stressful, adrenaline fueled sort of day. It definitely added another notch in the career belt for “crazy things that happen at work.” If you didn’t catch what happened on Twitter this past week, here’s the short version of what happened.

If you’ve been following the blog for a little while, you’ll know that my GM “Bill” put me on a development track to get recommended for “the next available” team lead spot. While some positions came and went without me being promoted to them, true to his word, Bill did recommend me for a new team lead position. On Friday he announced to me and my current boss that I would be leaving his team because I was being promoted to the Subsurface Characterization Team Lead for Texas Delaware Basin. Essentially, I got promoted to my boss’s position just a different part of the basin. What neither of them knew was that I wouldn’t be an employee here after August 2nd. Whoops… That led to some soul searching as to what would I do, and the “not as awkward as you would think” conversations I had when I ultimately declined the promotion.

Lifestyle Change Update

As our Lifestyle Change unfolds, we have been making some wholesale downsizing changes around our household. We found over 5 car loads of items to donate, we’ve sold multiple items, given away too many items to count, and have taken advantage of our “heavy trash” day to get rid of items we couldn’t give away or sell. Beyond being a little embarrassed by how much stuff we have accumulated in the last 5 years, we figured we were doing well with downsizing.

Then I did a podcast interview with Denis and Katie at Chain of Wealth. During that interview when I was talking about trimming our excess spending by looking at things as “a want or a need”, Katie mentioned that she liked to think about an item in terms of, “Do I want this badly enough to have to pack it and move it?” Mrs. SSC heard that and took it to heart because we’ll be moving in another month and we will be downsizing from our current house. Now that we potentially, have a new house, we know how much space we will have and what things can or can’t move with us.

Here are updates from the past few weeks on how our lives are going with the Lifestyle Change.

Chain of Wealth Podcast Interview!

Today, I’m featuring our podcast interview with Chain of Wealth. If you haven’t heard of them, you should check out their site. It is run by Denis and Katie and they set it up to document Katie’s debt payoff story while inspiring other folks to tackle their own PF issues. They blog about Katie’s debt payoff story and other personal finance related topics and they put out podcast interviews with other inspiring people on Mondays and Thursdays. Currently, their podcast has 58 episodes and includes names like Erin from Broke Millenial, Tanja from Our Next Life, Billy from Wealth Well Done, and Matt Lane from Optimize Your Life just to name a few.

This week, we were featured on the podcast in an interview that you can check out here. It was a lot of fun getting to chat with Denis and Katie about us, our new upcoming Lifestyle Change, the Fully Funded Lifestyle Concept, and more.

Give it a listen and I hope you enjoy listening to it as much as I did making it.

 

Thanks again to Denis and Katie at Chain of Wealth for featuring us!

Fully Funded Lifestyle Change (FFLC): Origin Story

Our journey down the path to Financial Independence Early Retirement (FIRE) began with the usual suspects, unhappiness at work and a doggedly busy schedule. While Mrs. SSC was convinced that we could do it, I wasn’t so on board with the idea. This was because the few examples I saw were too extreme and so I resisted. It took years for me to come around to the fact that our plan didn’t have to be like anyone else’s.

What didn’t take that long to come around to, was the concept of a Fully Funded Lifestyle Change, or FFLC as we call it. What’s different about that concept is that it isn’t focused on FIRE, it’s focused on making the best lives for ourselves now. In short, we wanted to be able to abandon the fast paced, hectic days filled with long hours away from the kids. What we didn’t want to do was abandon the safety and security of not worrying about money, bills, and more that we had grown accustomed to. So, we made a plan that when we hit a certain number in savings, brokerage accounts, and 401k’s we would jettison our hectic lifestyle here and relocate to a better lifestyle somewhere else. The better lifestyle for us meant more time with family and freedom of schedule, even if it came with a greatly reduced income. This was the basis for our Fully Funded Lifestyle Change concept.