Guest post

12 Money Tips for the Newly Single

Today’s post, is a guest post from Anne at UniqueGifter.com. Anne loves finding the perfect gift idea that’s on budget. She has been writing about gift giving and personal finance online since 2012, as owner of  UniqueGifter.com. Her favourite beverage is champagne and she loves figure skating, even if it’s harder now that she’s not 20!

As someone that has become single recently, I have done a lot of the things that she talks about below. Now that I am reminded, I should probably follow up with the few that I haven’t done yet. Without further ado, take it away Anne!

 

Even if it’s for the best, ending a relationship can hurt in so many different ways. While most people are discussing the emotional fallout, which alone can be bad enough, conversations around the financial repercussions when ending a relationship aren’t as popular. Hopefully these money tips for the newly single will help you find your footing as you step into this new stage of life.

 

My Best Money Tips for the Newly Single

The challenges someone who’s newly single faces depends on the financial entanglement they had with their ex partner. Whether or not they lost money separating from them or took on any extra debt in the process also has a big effect on their immediate finances. For example, a couple who’s dating might just go their separate ways and be done with each other, but a married couple will have a lot more to split up.

If you’re leaving a long term relationship or marriage, and especially if there’s kids involved, it can be financially complex when you become newly single. Here’s some tips and things to keep in mind as you navigate your money post break up.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

 

Change all your passwords and security questions

When you’re in a relationship with someone for a long time you get to know each other pretty well. That trust usually extends to sharing your passwords or at least leaving them out in the open. On top of that, they probably know enough about you to guess your security questions to do a password reset.

While your ex is probably not going to do anything even if they have your password, it’s always better to be safe when it comes to internet security. You should also force any banking websites or apps to log out of all devices, too.

 

Make a detailed list of your debt and assets

Identify what’s shared and what belongs to just you. That way you have it to reference as you sort life out and divide things up with your ex. If a lawyer’s involved or you’re going through a divorce you’re going to need all this information, but it’s good to have under any circumstances.

 

Open up a separate bank account

If you haven’t already, open yourself up a separate bank account that’s just in your name. Do this even if you haven’t physically separated from your ex or are just in the early stages of splitting up. Start moving over all your deposits and bill payments to your new account.

It’s also important to save a backup of any transactions or other information you might need from your joint account, too. Especially if you’ll need those for your taxes.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

Get a hold of your physical records

If you have any financial records including past tax returns, make sure to get those when you and your partner split up. If that’s not possible, speak to a lawyer or request copies as soon as possible.

If you run a home business or have other expenss you need to claim on your taxes, make sure to get copies of bills and receipts (both currently and from the past six years) in case you get audited.

 

Keep an eye on your credit and credit score

If you have shared credit cards, move towards cancelling those and opening up separate accounts. You should also revoke any secondary card privileges on accounts in your name, too. You might even want to consider changing your credit card number if you’re worried your ex might use your credit.

For any shared credit, work with your ex to have a plan in place to make those payments. If your name is on it you could not only be liable for the payments, but also the damage to your credit rating if it goes to collections.

 

Build new credit

On the other hand, some people leave relationships with little or no credit history at all. If your spouse was the breadwinner, you might not have had much credit in your name to begin with. Start as soon as you can to build your credit rating up, even if that means getting a credit card with a small limit. Just make sure you use it and pay it off in full every month to avoid interest or debt.

 

Make a new budget

Now that you’ve found yourself newly single, you’ll probably need to reevaluate your budget. Add in all the new or different expenses and income that have incurred. The most common things here are changes to your housing costs, your transportation if you changed vehicles or moved, and any spousal or child support coming in or going out.

If you’ve never made a budget before make sure you include all your income and expenses. Don’t leave anything out or it’s not going to work! If you have children, make realistic budgets for things like kid’s gifts and do not get sucked into “buying their love” and trying to outdo your ex on holidays.

Photo by Giorgio Trovato on Unsplash

Update your financial goals

Along with your new budget, being single means your financial goals have probably shifted too. You have to plan for a future that doesn’t include your ex, and that alone means things are different. You might not have the same income, but you’re only saving for your own retirement now.

Figure out some of your immediate goals and set some long term plans up so you can get your finances on track. The best way to start is by opening a savings account and setting whatever you can aside for an emergency fund.

 

Update your insurance policies

Chances are your ex was your benefactor for any life insurance policies you had set up. Now that you’re single, it’s time to update that with a trusted relative or even your children. It’s also a good idea to make sure your ex isn’t included on any other policies, either. Everywhere is different, but if your ex makes a claim in your name or on a joint plan it could affect your insurance rates.

If you had insurance combined with your ex, or through their work, you’ll also need to apply for your own policies. This goes for life, disability, health, or any other benefits you might have shared.

 

Remove your ex from any shared utility plans

Just like with your insurance, even a shared cell phone plan can get you into trouble. There’s nothing stopping your ex from not paying a shared plan and you’ll be responsible. Even a simple oversight on their part could lead to trouble on your end. Make a list of everything that’s shared and work with your ex to create new accounts.

This is also a good time to make sure none of your ex’s payments are coming out of your account. Double check for things like streaming subscriptions, automatic bill payments, etc.

 

Ask for help

If you’re breaking up from a serious or long-term relationship, you’ll likely have been living together for some time. When you break up, that also means dividing up all the stuff you bought together. For many people, this is almost like moving out for the first time. Don’t be afraid to ask for help or to put out requests on social media for cheap or free hand me downs. It can save you a lot of money during an already expensive time.

Then, as money permits, you can upgrade those freebies and pass them on to someone else in need.

 

Try and stay positive

A big life change like becoming newly single is tough on your wallet. It’s quite possible, and probably likely, that you’ll be set back a bit when it comes to your financial goals. That’s OK! The most important thing right now is to get through this and work on getting back on track after you’ve adjusted to your new life. If you follow these money tips for the newly single you’ll at least be on the right path to financial recovery.

Guest Post by: Anne at uniquegifter.com

Anne@uniquegifter.com

 

Guest Post: “Harnessing the Power of Comparison” from Changing Our Default

I’m featuring a guest post from Mrs. COD who blogs at Changing Our Default. She is a former teacher turned stay at home mom, freelance writer, blogger, and more. She and her husband blog about their path to Financial Freedom and the changes it requires in attitude, mindset, and the habits you build up over your life. Today, Mrs. COD is talking about the double edge sword of comparison and the journey to FIRE. Take it away Mrs. COD!

Everyone knows we’re not supposed to compare ourselves with others. Comparison is such a rotten thing. It leaves you dissatisfied, jealous, joyless. Right? We shouldn’t compare our marriages, our jobs, our salaries, our possessions, our families, to anyone else’s, or we’ll resent what we’re missing.

“Love your life, not theirs.” -Rachel Cruze

Watching my kids interact provides daily evidence of the truth that comparison can indeed steal our joy. Junior COD can be perfectly content with a toy until he notices Mini COD equally content with a different toy, and suddenly, it’s ON. He wants what little bro has, and whatever he’d been playing with before pales in comparison. I mean, the other day at the pumpkin patch, they both got a tiny plastic bug toy as a prize, but they fought the rest of the day over who got the ant versus the beetle. Seriously?

I may deride these kids’ immaturity in my mind at times, but in all honesty, how different am I from them on any given day? I can be totally content with my lot in life until perusing social media and seeing something I’m missing. Even though I have a cushy life by most standards, it doesn’t always feel like enough.

In general, I totally agree with the idea of not following everyone else’s path and not being swayed by peer pressure to buy or do or think a certain way. Comparison can drag you down, for sure. It can be depressing. It can be discouraging.

But today I’d like to turn the discussion to the other side of the comparison coin: motivation. Comparison, if we use it well, can be an incredible tool in our arsenal, spurring us on to bigger and better things.

Choose FI Podcast Interview: How we got here and even more SSC household background!

A while back I got an email request to do an interview with the guys over at ChooseFI and thanks again to reader Isaac and others who recommended us for an interview. It was really fun to do and was released on their podcast this morning!

The link to that interview can be found here.

Interview Details

In the interview I discuss a lot of our backstory, more so than we’ve gone into on the blog, and how Mrs. SSC is the big driver for our Fully Funded Lifestyle Change (FFLC). You can learn my name (gasp!), even more details about how we got on track for FFLC, find out more about the lure of “the spreadsheet that drives it all” and even more about how dense I was with realizing that “retiring early” was a real concept that could happen without making ridiculous sacrifices. Seriously, it only took me 6 years to believe it could happen. Bonus points to try and see how many times Mrs. SSC come out as the hero in our story. Hint: It’s a lot…

 

Choose FI Background

If you haven’t heard of Choose FI, they’re a couple of guys, Jonathan and Brad, that started their personal finance blog and podcast, ChooseFI. It covers everything from college issues, investing outside your 401k, travel hacking, debt payoff, and even making the perfect cup of coffee.

They’ve got a plethora of articles and podcasts to appeal to all kinds of readers, so make sure to check them out over at ChooseFI.

I hope you enjoy the interview, and let me know what you think!

An SSC Interview: A FIRE side chat with The Green Swan

Good morning everyone! Today we’re featured over at The Green Swan for one of his FIRE side chats. This is an interview series that JW has developed that has featured a lot of great bloggers and has a lot of different interview questions which makes for a good read.

If you haven’t made it to the Green Swan before check out his other posts while you’re there. I came across his blog and liked it because of the first post I read Garden Like a Boss! Use a Rain Barrel. I was looking into a better way to keep the garden watered and he had a good solution. He’s had a good run of posts on whether or not his solar panels have paid out, which was something else I was interested in with our current house. Like us, they also have a kid (and another on the way) and write about their path to Financial Independence though frugal living, good portfolio setups, and building his passive income, and his side business nicknamed The Green Condor. I like his writing style, content, and hearing about their journey to Financial Independence.

I hope you like our interview and finding a new blog if you haven’t come across the Green Swan yet. Thanks again for having us JW!

“Intimate” Interview at Fruclassity

Last week Ruth who writes at Prudence Debt-Free and Fruclassity: Frugality for the not-so-bad ass wrote an article about personal finance and sexual harassment in the workplace. In the comment section I mentioned that I too had experienced sexual harassment during my 7 year run in the restaurant industry. It led to a follow-up interview about my experience as a guy being sexually harassed in the workplace. Unfortunately, this is one of those things that happens regardless of your gender, and your workplace, anyone remember Disclosure?

 

To read more about it, click on over to Fruclassity for the interview.

 

Please comment and let me know what you think about sexual harassment in the workplace from a guy’s perspective. Is it taken as seriously as sexual harassment reported by women? Have you experienced this or even witnessed anything like this in any of your workplaces? Read more about my experiences and let me know your thoughts.

 

If you’re not familiar with Fruclassity it’s a site that was created by Ruth and Laurie. Ruth as mentioned above writes there and at Prudence Debt-Free, while Laurie also writes over at The Frugal Farmer. They tag team a lot of great articles dealing with keeping frugal classy and The 10 Commandments of Fruclassity which I liked when I came across it almost 2 years ago now…

Wedding/Christmas Gumbo: How I Met Mrs. SSC’s Parents

Good morning folks! This will be our last post for the year, but fear not, we’ll be back in January with a 2016 wrap-up, some 2017 goals, and more! We’ll be taking some time off to hang out with family and enjoy the holiday season.

In the meantime, check out our guest post over at Picky Pinchers. If you haven’t checked out their site yet, you should head over there for a lot of great articles on frugal living without sacrificing what’s important to you, as well as delicious recipes and more!

Seafood Gumbo
Seafood Gumbo    Image from http://www.louisianacookin.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/SeafoodGumbo.jpg

In our guest post, I talk about how I didn’t meet Mrs. SSC’s parents until about 3 days before our wedding – EEEP!! – and what role my homemade gumbo played in that initial meeting. Was it good, was it a disaster; you’ll have to head over there to find out. Plus, you can even get the recipe there, if you’re looking for a good hearty gumbo recipe to make your own.

Have a Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and Happy Holidays, whichever ones you celebrate!

 

See you guys next year!

 

 

When Should You Treat Yo’ Self? Guest Post by Mrs. Picky Pincher

Today I have a guest post from Mrs. Picky Pincher who runs a blog about frugality without sacrificing the good life. Something I’m a huge fan of. 🙂  If you haven’t checked it out yet head on over there for some great articles, frugal tips, and recipes. Yes, recipes! Her post today is about “when should you Treat Yo’ Self”. Spawned by Parks and Rec the “Treat Yo’ Self” Day came about when Tom and Donna celebrate one day a year to “Treat Their Selves” and essentially splurge on all the stuff they don’t buy the rest of the year. While picking one day a year to splurge on yourself may be the best idea ever, Mrs. Picky Pincher has some great ideas on how to be able to “Treat Yo’ Self” and not just limit yourself to only one day a year.  Take it away Mrs. Picky Pincher!

The Meaning of Financial Independence: Now, Time Equals Money — Guest Post from Living Dubois

Hey guys, welcome back Lois from Living Dubois back for another guest post on how their financial situation has changed 1 year into FIRE. Her last guest post discussed what overall life was like one year into FIRE and now she gets into more of the financial changes accompanied with such a big change.

One Year into FIRE – What it’s really like! Guest Post from Living Dubois

Good morning everybody! Today we have a guest post on what it’s like actually living your FIRE dream! This comes from Lois at Living Dubois and that’s pronounced “Dew-boys” not “due-bwah” as you may have assumed. She’s got some great posts and awesome pics about living post-retirement life in Dubois, WY.

Downtown Dubois, WY
Downtown Dubois, WY

She writes about what it’s like living in Dubois, WY as opposed to where she lived her entire adult life, New York City. Yep, she went from big city, and big sky scrapers, to.. well, just big sky (I know that’s Montana, but if you’ve never been to WY, it fits there too!).

Downtown NYC - no comparison
Downtown NYC – no comparison

 

FIRE One Year In: Living Out Our Paradigm Shift

While packing for our latest road trip, I was amused to notice that this time I hadn’t bothered to give the house the usual top-to-bottom cleaning before our departure. And I didn’t really care.

What changed?

Once, I thought of it as a dream house, and I was preparing to return to my dream. Now it is just home. Our dream has become a satisfying reality.

Back porch view from the dream/reality home
Back porch view from the dream/reality home

We have spent a lifetime working for financial independence–working two jobs, saving money, and spending only prudently. As a result, I was able to retire early last June, several years after my husband did so.

The “retire early” element wasn’t necessarily part of our original plan, but I have no regrets about it Quite the opposite.

Getting to this place required us to take a step that seemed wildly impractical at the time (and may still seem wild to some friends and family). While living and working in New York City, we bought a log house thousands of miles away in remote Dubois, Wyoming.

Given our lifelong habit of financial prudence, this felt like a crazy leap. But we were both in love with the small town and its dramatic surroundings. We had visited a guest ranch there when our children were small, went back several times, and eventually realized we just didn’t want to stop being there.

We figured we’d work it out somehow.

Luckily, the Internet service in Dubois is even better than in New York, which allowed me to telecommute to my Internet-based job before retirement. For eight years, we traveled back and forth twice a year, spending ever more time in Wyoming and ever less in New York. Importantly, from the outset we decided to fully integrate ourselves into the life of the town.

Gradually, we realized that the city we called home had little appeal for us, now that we weren’t part of its ladder-climbing mindset. And our Wyoming home has all of the factors we wanted for our retirement.

Climate: When we first moved here, we didn’t understand how important the weather would become as aches began to set in to our aging joints.

In the “banana belt” of Wyoming, the weather in Wyoming’s Wind River Valley is so temperate that the prehistoric Shoshone natives made it a habit to winter there. The winters feel milder than those we experienced in New York, because the snow tends to blow away and the dry atmosphere moderates the temperatures.

We have also traded the humid summer storm cycles of the east coast for a dry high-mountain desert  atmosphere that tempers the heat. Nights are very cool and so are the days in summer.

Community: I thought I was a dedicated city dweller, but (like my mother before me) I discovered that city life can lose its appeal as you mature. Our neighborhood of 30 years has become very hip, hot and cool at once, and I feel out of place there now.

View from her old place in NYC
View from her old place in NYC

Besides, I’ve seen it all so often before. The sight of the playground always made me miss my now-grown children. The sound of revelers made me weary, not jealous or nostalgic.

Retired to Wyoming, I’m enjoying the new experience of life in a small town that both welcomes newcomers and takes care of its own. I love the fact that a car will stop for me as I’m crossing the highway to the Post Office, and that I will recognize the friend who’s at the wheel. We enjoy new friends who share our enthusiasm for these surroundings. There’s more to enjoy about it than I have space to tell here.           

Ice cream social - so many people just hanging out, having fun!
Ice cream social – so many people just hanging out, having fun!

Cost of living: An important economic factor is that Wyoming has no state income tax. But a great deal more makes this a frugal place to live.

For one thing, we’re in an environment where others don’t have a great deal to spend, or if they do they don’t flaunt it. There is no Fifth Avenue with expensive shops, not even a shopping mall. There aren’t many dress-up occasions where you feel the need to trot out an evening gown or showy jewelry.

You can find what you need here, and there’s a well-stocked grocery store, but only a few restaurants. We enjoy doing things for ourselves anyway, including cooking.

Many of the favorite pastimes around here – hiking, quilt-making, painting, and photography, musical jam sessions, book clubs and card games—are free, or nearly so.

Hiking
Hiking
Quilting even!
Quilting even!

There simply aren’t that many attempts in Dubois to separate us from our money, and most of those are for good charitable causes.

Geography: Our new home is in the center of the great American West, a region I took little opportunity to visit back when I was a working woman with children. We’ve spent plenty of vacation time in the last 8 years exploring, and now we have the liberty to discover even more.

Activities:  Retirement means the liberty to do what you wish. I love to keep busy. So except when I’m out hiking with my dog, which is my main diversion here, I enjoy spending my time at volunteer work. This supplants my paid career with equally meaningful work that gives back to the community. It also allows me to continue working as part of a team, in this case people in the community who share my goals. I’m content, and happy to get out of bed in the morning (although now I can often ignore the alarm).

How different it all is than the retirement I imagined for myself! When I was younger, I assumed that retirement meant loss: Losing money, losing work, losing friends, losing contact. I never guessed it would bring so much adventure, fulfillment, and delight. Of course it all began with those two important words: Financial independence.

 

Thanks again Lois for the insights into FIRE and what its like in Dubois! And be on the lookout for a follow up look into how her finances have been affected by this change.

Guest Post – FI for Noobs!

Happy Friday everybody! This is just a short post letting you know that we are featured in a guest post for Kara over at From Frugal to Free: Frugal adventures on the road to financial freedom. She’s another great example of paying off a lot of debt (~$25k) while only making ~$30k per year. You don’t need a 6 figure income to pay down debt, or start planning for your own FI (Financial Independence).

When I was younger, I mistakenly believed if I made more money, things would get easier/better, etc… I didn’t realize then what she already has, which is, if you manage your money correctly, it doesn’t really matter how much you make, you can still pay off debt and work towards FIRE (Financial Independence/Early Retirement). She has a lot of great advice, tips, and personal experiences shared on her blog so bounce over there and check it out. Thanks again Kara for having us on your blog!

Everybody have a great weekend, and we’ll see you back next week!